I didn’t always know that the symptoms I was experiencing were the result of trauma. One day, after years of talk therapy I’d initially sought for depression, my hands suddenly went numb during a trigger point therapy (bodywork) training. I had to remove myself from the class and the woman I was working with as my neck and throat constricted, and I became flooded with fragmented memories and flashbacks from a life-threatening assault I had experienced years earlier.
I went home that evening and collapsed into the realization and gut-wrenching pain of how much the effects of sexual trauma had and were continuing to impact me, my close relationships, my decisions, my health, and my life.
Trauma is the result of overwhelm to your system. It’s not cognitive; you can’t think your way out of it; it’s biological. Symptoms are your body’s way of trying to get your attention, to alert you that your autonomic nervous system’s dysregulated state is throwing off your equilibrium, and it’s time to get support.
Even though I read wonderful books and sought treatment from mental health professionals for many years, which helped me to process some intense unrelated grief and a harsh inner critic, it wasn’t the support I needed to heal from the traumatic events – and trauma was at the root of everything!
Healing from any type of unwanted sexual contact, whether sexual harassment, childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, or sexual violence, starts with understanding how trauma is showing up in you now. Once you understand the potential symptoms and physical effects of trauma, you can begin to understand the necessity of seeking out effective ways to heal and the needed support.
Sexual Trauma and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
Some of the symptoms you’ll see in the list below, Sexual Trauma Symptoms, are symptoms of PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can emerge when trauma is beyond one’s capacity to cope, especially when the traumas perceived to be or is life threatening. PTSD’s disruptive and persistent symptoms can affect a survivor’s quality of life and ability to function normally.
PTSD is considered to be a mental health disorder, yet many of us who specialize in trauma therapy also consider it to be a physical health condition resulting from a highly disregulated autonomic nervous system and unintegrated trauma stored in the body.
Research tells us that 75% of sexual assault victims develop PTSD within one month of the traumatic event and that 48% of survivors still meet the criteria one year after an assault.
Because sexual assault is such a violation to ones entire being, body, mind and soul, the intense overwhelm drives many survivors to unconsciously suppress the trauma for a time, sometimes decades. I haven’t come across research on what percentage of sexual assault survivors develop or are diagnosed with PTSD 10, 20, or even 30 years later. This happened to me, and I’ve seen it in many of the survivors I’ve treated.
Survivors with a parent or grandparent who was diagnosed with PTSD are at three times greater risk of developing PTSD after experiencing a traumatic event.
The good news is that PTSD doesn’t have to be a life sentence, with the right treatment and support you can heal. It was a long journey to get there, but I’ve been free from PTSD and its disruptive symptoms for years now. I wrote the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook in hopes that it won’t be an unnecessarily long journey for others.
Sexual Assault Survivors and Trauma Symptoms
Let’s take a look at many of the common symptoms sexual trauma survivors experience, some that are a little less common, and how your symptoms might be impacting you.
Some symptoms can show up soon after the traumatic experience; think of the early symptoms as your body’s way of letting you know something’s off and it’s time to get help or support. Others may take much longer to develop.
If you’ve effectively suppressed the overwhelming event, symptoms may take years to appear, but sooner or later, they will. I see this on a regular basis in my practice – like me, many of the survivors I work with have done years of previous therapy that didn’t address or fully address the sexual trauma, and their symptoms got worse. The good news is that it’s never too late to begin healing.
The following symptoms don’t always indicate trauma and aren’t meant for diagnostic purposes, yet if they persist, it may be a sign that you have some unresolved trauma that needs healing.
The symptoms, health problems, and mental health disorders are divided into six categories. Take note of, circle, or jot down any you’ve experienced.
Sexual Trauma Symptoms:
1. Hyperarousal
- heightened startle response
- frequently scanning the environment for danger or watching for trauma reminders
- feeling on edge or having feelings of anxiety
- related physical symptoms, such as a racing heart, upset stomach, headaches, or tight constricted muscles
- becoming irritable, quick to anger, or aggressive
- difficulty concentrating
- difficulty sleeping and sleep disturbances
- impulsive or risk-taking behaviors (conscious or unconscious)
2. Reexperiencing the trauma
These can include dissociation.
- distressing thoughts and feelings about the trauma(s)
- emotional distress after being triggered by a reminder of the trauma(s)
- physical responses after being triggered
- flashbacks (they can be sensory, auditory, or visual)
- nightmares
- unconsciously re-enacting the trauma in hopes of a better outcome (repetition compulsion)
3. Avoidance of trauma reminders
These can be conscious or unconscious and can include dissociation.
- avoidance of people, places, or things related to the trauma(s)
- avoidance of activities related to the trauma(s)
- avoidance of conversations related to the trauma(s)
- suppressing thoughts related to the trauma(s)
- substance abuse, disordered eating, or other addictive behaviors as coping mechanisms and coping strategies to suppress uncomfortable thoughts and emotions
4. Negative thoughts or feelings
Most of these can be signs of depression and can include dissociation.
- excessive blame toward oneself (shame) or others related to the trauma(s)
- intense mood swings
- loss of any memory related to the trauma(s)
- loss of interest in activities
- difficulty experiencing positive feelings
- feeling isolation or disconnection from surroundings
- excessive negative thoughts about oneself
- excessive negative thoughts about the world
5. Physical health issues
These physical signs and symptoms often take longer to develop, may be long-term, and were likely preceded by some of the earlier symptoms.
- childhood bed-wetting
- immune system problems
- some endocrine problems, such as thyroid malfunction and environmental sensitivities
- asthma
- skin disorders
- non-epileptic seizures
- Intense premenstrual symptoms, uterine fibroids
- chronic pelvic pain, vaginismus*
- uterine cancer (likely due to avoidance of GYN exams)
- erectile dysfunction, sexual dysfunction
- serious difficulty hearing (higher in male survivors)
- HIV/AIDS (higher in male survivors)
- digestive problems, such as IBS, acid reflux, and SIBO (leaky gut)
- chronic pain, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia
6. Mental health conditions and disorders
Many of the listed disorders show high rates of childhood sexual abuse.
- Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Complex PTSD
- intrusive thoughts
- panic attacks
- Obsessive-compulsive Disorder
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- Major Depression
- Bipolar Disorder
- suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide
- Dissociative Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Eating Disorders, especially bulimia
- Substance Use Disorders
*Painful spasmodic contraction of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure (especially during sexual intercourse).
Because it can feel a little overwhelming to read these symptoms, I invite you to pause and feel into the support of the chair or surface you’re sitting on, and the ground supporting your feet. Next slowly look around the room you’re in as you take some nice deep yet relaxed breaths. When you feel calm and ready, take a look over the symptoms you’ve identified.
Reflection
The following questions are intended as a reflection to help you think more deeply about how trauma could be showing up in your life.
- Do you have a lot of symptoms in one category, some in several categories, or symptoms in each? Write down the categories with the most symptoms you’ve identified.
- Are there any symptoms you want to add?
- How do you feel about having these symptoms?
- How would your life be different if you didn’t have these symptoms?
As you review this list, know that you’re not alone in your symptoms. Although you may not know their names, there are many others traveling this path along with you. The symptoms differ for each person, but all are common among survivors.
It’s important to note that trauma, like stress, creates an excess of adrenaline in the body that, if untreated, can lead to adrenal exhaustion, depression, and other physical and emotional symptoms. This is just one of many ways your system’s equilibrium is thrown off by trauma.
Healing trauma earlier in life may prevent long-term health issues from developing, yet it’s never too late to heal.
I’ve seen many people overcome the symptoms in the first four categories, with symptom reduction or restored health in the fifth category, physical health issues, and the sixth category, mental health conditions.
Since symptoms can continue on and new ones may appear years after the overwhelming event, some people have concluded that trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. That is until you’re resourced enough to be aware that it’s time and you’re ready and able to do the work needed to heal.
Trauma symptoms are messengers screaming out for your attention, showing you where the wounds are and where to place your attention and care.
Wishing you much ease and self-compassion on your healing journey.
Warmly,
Erika
